Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize