He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
