Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He? As in you personified your dick?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
