i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
