i don't like sucking hair
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize