Yo dont text me then not text me
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
