there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
