one two three fourrrrnication!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
