I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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