you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
