well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize