I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
