you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
