whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize