I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
