Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening

(508): View more from Massachusetts

yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.

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(848): View more from New Jersey

Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.

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(530): View more from California

He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad

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