I'm gonna have a badass scar
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
