TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
