Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
