I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize