get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
