she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
