I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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