Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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