Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
