We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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