she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
