HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
