I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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