just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
