Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
