have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
