i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
