I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
