I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize