Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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