He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
