Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
