Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize