it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
