I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize