this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
