her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
