ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we made out on top of his cat.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize