I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We were destined to go to rehab together
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
