Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
