After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
