we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I am one with the molecules
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
