return my video game
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
