I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just pee around me
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
