Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize