his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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