I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
FUCK WHALES
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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