ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
