so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
my liver is dry heaving
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
