You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
