I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
