We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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