Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
