Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
